Or beloved son Elijah Thomas Heim died on November 6th 2009 when he was two and a half months old. The doctors are not sure what the cause of death was and so they concluded it was SIDS. I have my own ideas and theories but I will save those for another post.
I remember telling my friends and family while Eli was still on this earth with us that I was so in love with him and that I often found myself just staring at him. This was surprising to most because Eli was my third baby and I really did not have “time” to just sit and stare at him. I remember people telling me “I don’t even remember my third as a baby, I was so busy taking care of all three that it went so fast in a blur.” I thought that would happen with me too, but for some reason that I did not know at the time it was not like that. I loved just being with Eli. I wanted to be near him all the time. I was so in love! I remember loving my other children, but this was a different experience all together.
It has been over a year since Eli died and I am still so sad and part of me is still empty. Eli was such a beautiful baby and will forever be a part of me. I know now that my intoxicating love relationship with Eli was God’s way for me to know his goodness and beauty that only Life can bring about.
Since Eli’s death I have never been more certain about how much God loves me, how much God loves all of his people, and how God creates each of us for a purpose. My faith walk and passion for the pro-life movement have been so intensified from Eli. Eli gave me such a wonderful gift and everyday I am trying to grow closer in Christ.
For that Gift…I thank God for Eli, and for my entire family.
Closing prayer: I pray that you as my reader will come to understand that God has created you to do wonderful things. I pray that Eli can touch your heart and desire for God as he has done to both Greg and myself. Amen.