Today is Eli’s 3rd birthday. I often wonder what he is doing right now in heaven on his birthday. While my heart breaks because I am not with my little guy, celebrating with him, eating cake with him, and cleaning up all the frosting smudges; I know that his party in heaven is more than I can even imagine.
Our fourth child Reece was born 2 days before Eli’s first birthday. Reece was born on Aug 10, 2010. Eli was born Aug 12, 2009. We were released from the hospital on Aug 12 with Reece. It was a blessing and hard day all together 2 years ago when we brought Reece home. I was very nervous letting Reece out of my sight even though he wanted to sleep the day away and I wanted to visit with Leah and Jonah. Since Reece was my fourth child I felt like he was my first again with hovering, checking, and worrying. But I have learned that it is good to be safe; worry is not from God.
“For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
“When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24)
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.” (Psalm 34:4)
This year on Eli’s birthday we were just finishing up our first family camping trip. Our new church has an annual camping trip on this weekend every year and asked us to come. Greg has camped his whole life and talked me into it. It was an experience, but one with many good memories. Also we have decided that a leaky air mattress was not very comfortable, so we will be buying a new one before the next trip! Our Pastor was doing the church service back at our church this morning, so he asked an elder in the church to preach the message. We had songs of worship, prayer, and a message. Very much like a normal church service, except outside on camping chairs and in the dirt! The sun came out for church this morning and it was glorious after days of rain and clouds!
At Eli’s funeral I was told to choose songs to sing. One song that I really wanted to sing was the song Breathe by Michael W Smith. I think that song stuck out so much because Eli died from SIDS and stopped breathing. Our previous church where we had Eli’s funeral used to play that song from time to time. After his funeral that was the only song that would bring tears to my eyes and sometimes cause me to go and compose myself.
I had not heard our new church sing that song yet. Until this morning, on Eli’s birthday. I know God sends these little things to share with us that Eli is doing great, and that how awesome it is that he is in heaven. I know God put on my heart sadness, but happiness too.
Some of the lyrics:
I am desperate for you
I am lost without you
Your holiness presence living in me
Your very Word spoken to me
I know that God wanted me to hear this song with my family far from our normal church setting on Eli’s birthday. I know that I am lost without God. I am desperate for God. Where would I be without God? I would be trying to fumble through life on my own strength. I would fall every time. I would fail. How awesome to know that God is there to lift me up! To catch me when I do stumble, and to show me that narrow path that He has laid for my life. I know that my trust and whole being is with Jesus and one day I will meet Him in heaven. I know that Eli will be waiting. What an awesome gift Jesus came to this earth to give; eternal salvation! He sent His only son for us! For you, for me, for your neighbor. Let’s not waste another second on giving our lives to the Lord, accepting him for the One and Only God. Eli was taken so quick and I know that all of our days our numbered.
What are you waiting for?
whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.